Wednesday, December 12, 2007

a great present

So yesterday was my 37th birthday. I got up late and
then got dressed and Jen and I walked down to the
Starbucks by the ocean. It's down the 30th street hill
which is a very steep hill that runs for about half a mile
or more. Then we walked up it. It's quite the task.
Just after beginning the walk up I realized that I needed
to pace myself here. Jen had gotten out ahead of me and
the competitor in me wanted to keep up if not pass
her. I have walked this before, she hadn't, and I know
my limits. If I go more quickly now I will run out of steam
before I get to the top and then the half mile to the
house after that will really suck.
This was the first of many times yesterday where I was so
present in the moment I was able to make a self aware
choice that suited me. It may not sound like a big deal
unless you know that this is a first for me. My mind was
right where my body was, not in the past or future.
I know myself and my limitations and boundaries.
And I love who I am and want to make choices that
allow me to experience this joyous life, including that
moment.
So I did. I kept a steady pace and 2 blocks from the top
Jen slowed way down (I passed her) and I made it
to the top with plenty of energy left to jog the rest
of the way home. (I didn't though, but I could have:))
There were a few more opportunities during the day that
a few weeks ago I would have done differently, and that
choice would have pulled me out of the moment and
left me with a heavy feeling the rest of the day.
They were all decisions that not only benefited me
in a non-selfish way, but also brought to light the
awareness that I am fully present in my life for the
first time. I am attached to each moment and working
from a place of restoration and freedom and
acceptance.
WOW! Yeah, I know, it's big.
The whole day I felt peace and joy and in the evening
we had family and old friends and new friends and
great food and my favorite beers and the best
present I have ever gotten was the God given ability
to BE present.
Like Amy Brown said when I told her,
"Yeah!!! Finally!"
My sentiments exactly!

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