Wow it's been a week already!
i've been in a place that has me writing things
that are not for mass consumption so my
journal is full of things from this last seven days
and i've wanted to write things here, just
hadn't found the words to share it.
so... i am going to write this one last thing
about dimitri because i know everyone is
curious and that will be that.
he has been an amazing and important part
of my time here.
i have learned so much about men and God
and myself through our time together.
i have never met anyone i could see my path
aligning so closely with before.
he leaves tomorrow for several weeks and
as i don't know how long i will be here i may
not see him again. for a while anyway.
i have felt sad and cried thinking about not
having him around and i wondered if i had
given too much of my heart and had become
needy and distracted and what i realized
is that i love deeply so i feel deeply and that
is who i am. if i move 100 times i will cry when
i leave every time and that is because i will
have fallen in love with the people and that
is what i do. that is what He built me for.
i have never felt so safe and so healed to be
able to be myself and be honest and transparent
with a man and with him i was.
it is a great gift God has given me and i love
Him and him for it.
i drove him to his sisters tonight and i laughed
as i pulled up realizing that this had become a
regular part of my life for the last month. i
could never have guessed that all of this would
happen and isn't that always what people say?
we hugged and i kissed his cheek and said,
"go with God my friend," as the cd played
i can't keep my eyes off of you by james blundt
i think and he got out of the car and i drove away.
it was so perfectly romantic and so
dramatic in a lovely way that suits me, and then
i drove down to the ocean and listened to more
love songs and smoked a cigarette.
so- that's it.
tomorrow we are doing a prayer walk around the
neighborhood here with some people from
our missional community and friday visual artists
are coming here to paint and sunday there is
a concert i'm going to in seattle...
I LOVE MY LIFE!
thank you Daddy.