i hate emotional roller coasters.
along with all of the things i am now i am also
still selfish and insecure.
this becoming a better person thing, while it seems
important, requires a lot.
dealing with family crap, the ones i am currently
close in proximity to, and the ones back home, is
just plain hard.
those walls have been so high for so long i don't
remember every seeing over some of them.
the need to protect myself from discomfort and
rejection was shaken today.
i entered a piece of art i had painted into a gallery
show and i didn't get chosen. for the show. it's on
a door and they didn't like that.
i felt sad.
i told my cousin that my feelings were hurt and i
could feel bitterness building and that opened
a can of worms for us to discuss.
i realized that i have been reaping what i sew in my
relationship with my sister. and it's not been good.
Lacey was here only a week and she said i was mean
to my mom.
today i am at a loss but it's ok.
today i suck. that's ok too.