Deepak Chopra said that all of the artists that he knows
who are creating new things and moving forward are
aware of their insecurity and they are comfortable with
it.
i was looking in the mirror this morning and really seeing
myself and i feel like my face is too round and i see the
double chin looming in the background and i wondered
if instead of affirming myself into believeing that i love
myself just the way i am today, which never happens,
or trying to whip myself into some shape i think it could
be...
whst if there is a certian level of dissatisfaction that i can
be comfortable with?
realizing that no one ,even super models, likes their bodies
(which always sounded like a crock of shit to me)
and accepting that the way it is, the way it could be, even
the way it used to be, isn't ok...
and that's ok...
that i just learn to be ok with it not being ok.
is sounds absurd.
it feels brilliant.

a little footnote here-
all of the recent revelations God has given me lately have
been from sources i would have prior to this new season
shunned as heretics, blashpemers, and kooks.
my sweet friend kenny in all of hist northwest political
correctness wishes God were more compassionate,
less judgmental, and just plain nicer.
what if He is?
what if each piece out ther adds to the puzzle?
instead of making division and war?
what if our fear keeps us on this stariway to hell because
without more information it's only partially helpful...
or harmful even.