It's something that I noticed while I was in Czech and
now something I have read in this great book Eat, Pray,
Love. The book tells of the author's life experience and
it is very much like my own so just fill it in like that, only
after her divorce, she goes to Italy and then to India to an
ashram. (i went back to college).
Anyway- the part that stood out to me this morning, and
brought me to tears, is the conversation she has with a
17 year old Indian girl about what she wants for her life.
She is almost 18 and the pressure to get married is very
real and they still do it the old school matchmaker way. She
is not only not wanting to do that she also has been brought
to the point of questioning how she came to be born into
a family she resembles so little. She and the author are
sitting and talking about this when the girl jumps up and
runs in circles saying at a volume too loud for an ashram
apparently, "I want to live in Hawaii!"
Now mind you I have taken a rather terrific fall just this
morning, leaving me bleeding and hobbling, so my
emotions are very close to the surface, but this made me cry.
I cried for all of the women who have told me over the years,
and most recently 6 of them Czechs, that they wanted to do
or be something that they just could not. Either being told
by society or family or both that their dream was impossible
or impractical.
I felt that young Indian girl's spirit in that moment just soar
over her head as she dared with her voice to express her
desire and dared the fates or God or her family to try and
stop her.
I identified with her desire and the passion to shout out
for something that you want so badly, and for me, knowing
what I do at 37, feeling the distant fear that it can never come
true.
In reality there is no comparison between me at 37, who
comes from a middle class family in the richest country in
the world, and this teenage girl from India, as far as who has
the resources to make their dreams come true. I realize
this.
I also realize that she and I both love and serve a God who
gave us those dreams and my advantages and her
disadvantages add up to nil in His eyes.
He has gently healed me and groomed me to be able to have
all that my heart desires. He has honed my skill and sharpened
my vision so I can see and, then do, the things my heart leaps
toward. He has taught me brokenness and how to rely on His
strength so I can crawl over this glass in between me and my
unimaginable hopes.
I cannot see how it all ties together and I cannot control when
things happen, but taking a cue the girl in India I am running to Him
with my arms open and yelling, "LET ME LOVE THEM!"
And all else being equal, she and I will both have our dreams.