ok so the last thing i told you was that the bird cage/
jail cell has legs.
sorry to have left it hanging i just forgot what came
next until i shared it with someone again today.
ok so when the cage taps you on the shoulder this is
where scripture comes in. the fact is that this is an
advanced and mature spiritual happening.
if you are an immature Christian you can stand in the
mirror every morning and tell yourself you are beautiful,
BUT if you do not allow God to take you through the
healing and exposing and digging you will in no way live
in that place of acceptance of your beauty.
are we tracking here?
i mean that positive self affirmation is just that.
it affirms the self and the self is momentary and is
based on situation and mood and weather and stress.
so it changes.
participating in healing is forever and is freedom of spirit
and acceptance of truth. the truth is that you are beautiful.
because Jesus says so. that's it. it means nothing if your
relationship with Him is shallow and unrefined.
ok- at a certain point in the process though, scripture,
calling out God's word is more powerful than anything
else we can do.
so when the cage of fear, or doubt, or insecurity, or debt,
or food, or hopelessness, or exhaustion or what ever God has
freed you from, when it taps you on the shoulder and you question
all of your progress and feel failure and doubt God's sufficiency-
this is when you read-
ps 139:1-4
prov 3:5-6
prov 21:5
prov 23:7
rom 12:2
2cor 10:5
eph 4:22-24
phil 4:8
2tim 1:7
when you've come so far and you don't know how to be this
new person. the healed, free person you and God have
grown you into, read these.
that's it. it's that easy. now... the process to get here...
well hopefully you have some idea of that by now, if you
are clueless here, ask Him to show you. He wants nothing
more.
may you each know God more intimately tomorrow than
you do today and may you commit not to quit until you
are the person He created you to be.

what if cellulite is emotional as well as biological?
what if there are places in our body that harbor our
emotional baggage?
i mean i cannot imagine anything more representing of negative
emotions that cellulite. it's bumpy, and uneven, often having a
cottage cheese appearance, it's just plain unsightly.
it hangs around in areas of insecurity for the most part i.e.:
thighs and buttocks.
and speaking of buttocks... what if the fatty deposits between my
rear and my actual bottom is anger?
what if the fat accumulating in my middle section is stress and
rejection?
what if the sway of my underarms is anxiety... no, on second thought,
that's just my grandmother's genetics.
but seriously, we know there is a connection, as Christians, between
the body and the spirit. the supernatural gift of healing, even though
here in America we don't often expect it, is taking control out of
the hands of the earthly and allowing God to fix the problem.
so im just wondering if as i participate in the healing and growth
and i become more and more free of negative emotions, and
negative talk, and negative thoughts... you see where i'm going with
this?

i had to come to terms with the fact that my desire to be
married is based in rejection. still.
my desire to be loved and accepted and adored.
i have said that i can do anything, i am strong, i am
independent - well i have acted as if i believed this anyway.
i realized that i did not want to be alone, not did i want
to move to some far away place by myself.
i of course imagined a husband would fit the bill.
the bad fruit that is still stinking up my daily life and all
of the fears keep me uncomfortable in each moment-
they hurt me physically now too.
i believe He is who He says He is.
Lord help me with my unbelief.
what i am looking for is agape love. it's not even human.
so it doesn't come with skin i can touch or arms that
can hold or lips that can kiss.
and no man will ever meet that need. i wonder how many
people would escape the death of a marriage if they knew this
first?
ladies, ladies, ladies - oh my beautiful Christ loving ladies -
you all know this.
we all know because the pastor said so.
i am here to tell you it is true and if i am correct in the
supernatural wisdom He has given me -
it feels like nothing i've ever felt before.
freedom from fear
acceptance instead of rejection
unconditional love
dreams realized
contentment and confidence
peace joy laughter.
the problem is that we never tell each other how to get here.
we pray and quote and study.
we pray and quote and study.
we pray less, we quote less, we study less.
we give up hope, or have it wrestled out of our knotted up fist.
there is much work to be done before we live in the place
He created us to live, before the restoration begins to take
shape in our daily lives.
beyond giving and praying, and reading and attending.
daily moment by moment surrender without effort and
with the reward of love.
He speaks this to you with the hope and foreknowledge that
you understand.
may you find moments each day to listen and may He
reveal to you the inner most hurts and fears so He may
lovingly and carefully hold them in His hand so you can be free.
by the way- being free of something doesn't mean it won't ever
come up again. it will. it just doesn't have the hold on you it once
did. you are not failing or moving backward, you are still free.

wow.  that's all i can say about how i feel today.

as i get more and more perspective about my life and 

what happens next i am amazed by the process of it all.

in the past i wouldn't have been able to enjoy any of

what's going on right now because i don't have a clear

answer or definition as to what does happen next. 

i see now that all of the times He insisted i trust Him

pay off in this way.  i do trust Him.

it's not all fun and not easy all the time and there is pain

and fear, but there is also balance and joy and hope.

i continue to realize how misinformed Christians are and

that we keep perpetuating the misinformation and how

that keeps us from being truly free and loved.

we say free and draw the image of a bird being let out of 

its cage.  no one told you this but the cage has legs and it

can show up and tap you on the shoulder causing you to

deal again with something you thought you were 'free' of.

and we fail to remind each other of the fact that this is a 

journey - journey - journey.

things add up over time and one thing healed will spill over

into 100 other areas and you will change and not even try

or know why... until you have

perspective.

may you have clear vision about the season you are in and

may your faith be strengthened as you look back on all of

the times He was faithful.

press in.

press on.

it gets lighter and easier dear ox.

you know how they say the grass is always greener?
it's true.
i know some people think that any situation, job, spouse, life...
is better than the one they have, and obviously that is not
true if you are focused on the things, the tangible things you
can see.
i think maybe that what people are feeling is their own
dissatisfaction with their choices and possibly some
regret about opportunities lost and it's easy to look outward
and point the finger (not the middle one, be nice!) at the
'things.'
i also think that they are right. whatever it is that they are seeing
and longing for is real. it's just not on the outside.
the grass is greener in the sweet smelling fields of Jesus.
i'm always trying to steer clear of churchy sounding words and
phrases, but lately i just can't help it.
there is no other word for Jesus. there is no other way to say
that He is amazing but to just say," praise Him!"
so allow me this digression from my usual more hip and acceptable
lingo.
I LOVE JESUS!
i have seen and heard and loved and been loved and He is the
author of it all. He is making dreams a reality,
setting me free from bondage and lies
and tearing down walls of defense and erecting
boundaries of awareness and purpose!
and the air i breathe daily is scented with the sweet smell of roses
on my walks and i am standing on paths covered in flower petals
that make me feel like a royal princess coming home in honor
and the refreshing smell of spring rain washes away all of the
dust of complacency and nourishes the roots of further growth.
ah yes my friends - that is something to long for.
that is the smell of fresh cut, much greener grass.
don't look around you for it, look in you
and to Him. the grass underneath your feet is your greener grass.
you are in your own way and the only one who doesn't see it.
the things that are wrong that make you long for something else
are issues of your heart, not you bank account.
the things you want that you don't have will not make you happy,
being free in your spirit to live your dream will.
and no matter where you are in life or what you have or don't have
because of your choices, your dreams will be realized if first you
seek His truth. and the truth is that He loves you and wants you
to unload all of the old junk that weighs you down and keeps you
from feeling alive and then He wants to prepare you for more than
you could ever hope, dream, or imagine!
hard to believe?
just scroll through the last 6 months of my blog.
it's the truth in action.
may the God who sees all come to you right where you are
and fill you with the loving knowledge of His grace and adoration
and may you feel His pride when He sees your face and
may you believe He has your best interest at heart and may
you someday smell the sweet smell of your greener grass.