This is a door that I painted. It's like a 5 frame story board. It tells the story of One. One realizes it's a little different. In a world full of squares, One is round. Someday something new enters One's life. Two is also round. One and Two share ideas and dreams and One learns some new things from Two. The new things encourage One to go and so it takes the new information and goes. Two stays behind in the land of the squares. One will come back.

I went to the interview on Thursday. I was anxious about finding the place and parking in Seattle. I kept telling myself to calm down. Be anxious for nothing. And asking myself why I was so freaked out. Nothing bad was happening. Yes I am out on a limb, but I'm not afraid. So why the chaotic energy?

I found the place with plenty of time left so I went to the restroom and prayed. Prayed for peace and calm.

The first thing I learned was that it would be Jan. of '09 before I went anywhere. For some reason this kind of left me speechless which isn't good when you are supposed to spend the next 90 minutes talking. The man asked me if that was ok and I just said that a lot can happen in a year.

He asked and I answered for the next hour. Some things he said didn't sit well with me.

What if you can't take a bath everyday? What if you have to boil your water to bathe? Are you ok with being the only one like you and you are on display everyday? Are you ok if you can't have a bible or go to a church? Are you ok with being alone for extended periods of time?

I answered as honestly as I could. Until he asked I didn't realize that I might not be ok with all of that.

I left there feeling beat up and freaked out.

I needed to get quiet so I drove to the ocean the next day. I lay in the back of an SUV and listened to the waves and looked out at the nothing but water between me and China.

This time here was for me to decide what I wanted.

This is what I know now.

I am not afraid to say that I want to be married. Half the fun of having adventure is to look over at someone and say, "Did you see that?!" The adventure that I crave, that was put in me by God is to be shared with someone. I am not afraid to do it alone. I just don't have to. Nor do I want to. I think if there were someone else with me I could be ok with all of those things that bothered me when I was dealing with them all alone.

I also know that how it all plays out is on Him. I know what I want, and that was what He wanted me to decide. I'll leave the details to Him and if nothing else, I now have put together a sweet resume.