These are two images of the Tacoma sky line downtown. I swear it is one of the best cities to photograph. There are so many beautiful buildings and areas of interest. The dome is the old train station, the slanted cone is the hot shop for the glass museum, and that's the Tacoma bridge and of course mt. rainier in the back. I just love this town and if I ever have the opportunity to make a movie or write a fictional book I will use it as my setting. I wish all of you could come see it. Amy came with me years ago and Lacey a few weeks ago and in a couple of weeks from now Cory and Brandon will be here. That is amazing to me. I love getting to share this with some of you.

Anyway-

Most of you already know but, I have an interview set up with someone in the peace corps office for next Thursday. I'm kind of excited and kind of freaked out.

See the thing for me is finishing things. I hardly ever do. By finishing

this I open myself up to be vulnerable and rejected or if I do get accepted, then I have the responsibility to pull off whatever I made them believe I could. And in this case... it's move to another country and learn the language and help them in some way.

I have started writing a book also. And I have stopped. Again... finishing, being rejected, responsibility...

It's such an interesting time of growth for me. I'm so glad that He is so careful with us. If I hadn't gone through my bitter root healing before this all came up it would be same story, different verse. This time, like Amy keeps telling me, it's my time.

Just last night I allowed God, finally, to break through my inability to express anger. I discovered months ago that I was taught that expressing anger was not ok so I didn't, and instead I have bottled it all up, 37 years worth!, and it has shown itself physically instead. Being uptight and inflexible and tense are not things I am naturally, for me not knowing how to appropriately express when I was angry or hurt and defending myself created that in me.

This revelation also explains my fascination with Italian gangsters! I still want to be one. I'M GONNA YELL ALL THE TIME!

My point today though, because everyone has different issues, is the fact that if I had not been spending time talking to Him, I might never have gotten to the bottom of the issue. I have grown to be very in tune with how I feel, and man is that an amazing statement coming from someone who at one point didn't even have words to express emotions, and I could feel something wasn't kosher. I'm just wondering if you guys know when something is off? Do you realize that you feel weird because something is trying to get out? That you don't sleep at night when you can't shut your mind off because He is trying to tell you something? Are you self aware enough to get the message?

I know as life long Christians most of you feel guilty about your insufficient bible reading and prayer time. Maybe some of you have lots of it, but nothing seems to really come from it. It's not about God requiring time from you. It's about you needing time with Him.

Time with Him to get in touch with your emotions, to hear His heart for you, to be given peace and comfort and insight and correction.

Take the time guys! In whatever form it looks like.

Don't be rigid. Be sensitive to His voice.

It will change your life.

Which admittedly is good and scary.