So many things going on in my life creating so many things to think and pray about, but today I am just wondering what it is that we want to hear?
I have come to see that there are only a certain number of possible options for the human experience. We each have our own specific details, sometimes, but the themes of experiences and reactions are limited.
This is reflected most obviously in the fact that a document with pieces written 2000 years ago can still have very applicable lessons in our lives today.
So why then when someone says, "I know how you feel." Or, "I understand what you are going through." Why is that so hard to believe?
Maybe if we didn't feel so separate and individual... Society has built us, for several decades, to come to rely on ways of communicating that don't involve face time. We are taught to look out for number one. And this part of the country I am in is totally dedicated to the desires and ideas of the individual. There are men who are not gay and do not live with their mom and are over 35 and have never been married. They are married to their bike or their climbing gear or their passion for music. Not that having things you love isn't important to making life rich, but when things have not only replaced God as idols in our lives, but have also taken precedent over relationships with people, well maybe that is why we find it so hard to ask for and receive help and love. We have dismantled the fiber of community and we can no longer let ourselves ,or get ourselves, to believe that our experience is in now way unique to us.
I have a friend who is going though something that I walked through about 6 years ago. She is reacting the same way I did. I can feel the anxious energy and see the desired, hopeful outcome. And I know when I say to her that I know where she is and how it feels, it means nothing. She does not believe that we are alike, or I used to be like that, and therefore feels very alone and doesn't even realize it.
Now many things can stand in the way of offering this kind of advice. If your heart and motives are not pure you sound judgmental or condescending. But in this instance I just really want her to know how it works out in the end. If she would let me I could give her a glimpse of the future and it would relieve some of the stress and panic, I think.
I know I never allowed people to speak like that into my life. Another way she and I are alike.
So that is my question. What do we want to hear if it's not something that can let us know that we are not alone, and do not have to figure this out because it has already been done. And been done MANY times.
And if we can't hear it from each other, maybe that is a reason why so many people who claim to trust God don't have lives that prove that. By living in strife and confusion and shame and guilt, having the divinely inspired word right in their face, says that this Christianity thing just doesn't work. And that is a lie.
If we learn to see ourselves as part of something so much bigger our ego does take a hit, but our relationship with the one who created everything can then move from head knowledge to heart knowledge and out lives start to reflect the truth that God is real and mighty to save.
Feeling very much a part of my community on Sunday morning I was able to hear God speak through a song that made my freedom even more real than the day before. It said, "All her sins were cast on Me, so she must and shall go free." As I took that personally, I closed my eyes and my ears seemed to filter all others singing out but one man. I know this man and his heart for God and his respect for women and his love for his wife, and in that moment he was Jesus for me confirming that it's not only possible or an option, but that because of what He did, I MUST and SHALL go FREE!
That is what I needed to hear. That Jesus had been there, my brother had been there, my savior had been there, and by what He chose to do I am going to be completely free.
Maybe that's the answer. To not compare my life with hers, but to just remind her of His love for her. And as God showed me on Sunday, we do that by being Jesus for one another. Just like that moment during the song. As part of a community that man allowed himself to be Jesus for me by singing out loudly, and feeling safe and a part of the community I received that.
Now I am going to close this laptop where I can spend all day doing very productive things and go be Jesus for my friend who needs some help around her house. Who can you be Jesus for today?