i'm beginning to wonder if i'm cut out
for this lifestyle.
i mean i'm kinda late on the whole what
do you wanna be when you grow up thing,
and i'm wondering if i'm making the right
choices.
i realize i have had designs on a certain
kind of life. one full of adventure and
travel and service.
i think deep down i've had the desire to
be known. thinking that it would make
me special or important. or both.
i guess i'm coming to terms with my
motives for choosing what i am.
i can not survive on my own in some foreign
land if i went there because it wasn't boring.
the idea of being known scares me now.
i was talking with a new friend of mine here
and he had very strong opinions about well
basically what i am writing the book about.
i didn't say outright that i was talking
about that, but we ended up on a subject
close to my whole point and he was 100%
against it. sort of. it was in the context
of sharing the info in a large group versus
my writing it in a book, but it still shook
me.
because i feel like it should be said in
every place and to everyone because by not
saying it we do ourselves a great disservice
and continue the path of least resistance
that has gotten us nowhere and created a bunch
of pew riding, inherited religion, close minded
people claiming God's name.
i guess i feel pretty strongly about that.
and with those opinions i can not just sit
back and espouse them from the comfort of my
living room sofa.
those kind of ideas need substance to support
them.
so i have to go.
right?