As I have started to add some structure to my string of seemingly endless, God-centered days I have been given some tools to categorize things. I work better when things have a place and a label. (I realize this is not helping my case of not being obsessive compulsive.) Some of the labels are 'physical tasks,' 'relational tasks,' and the one I love most, 'ministry tasks.' Physical tasks are my stretching time in the morning and any other exercise I get in. Relational tasks are time I invest in the people God has put in my life to know and love and pastor. In the ministry task category falls reading and writing and teaching, all things that I find the least complicated. And the categories often overlap because sometimes I will go for a walk with someone I love and we get time to talk; then the physical and relational are both in play.
Two of my favorite ministry tasks right now are writing this blog and teaching what we call at Soma, the story of God. It is a condensed version of the bible taught with the intention of causing dialogue creating a familiar relationship with the people and stories and person of God for each person in the group. That sounds official doesn't it? I just made it up. But, it is the purpose and the way in which my pastor is growing me and mentoring me into whatever God has next is by having me lead it. I am passionate about it because I am only now after ten years of loving Jesus, living in the truth and fullness that this book, this ancient text, is an operators manual and a love letter to me from The Creator of everything.
Next week I am going to share with you the powerful way in which God has used the Song of Songs as a love letter to me, but today I have to share with you an idea that came up yesterday during our story of God discussion.
We are on week three and that is the story of Cain and Abel. The first week is of the creation and the second is of the disruption, or the fall, and if you get too far into the story without going back over each of them they can easily become disjointed, individual stories instead of the history of one family, and of us. For me that has been a big reason that it's hard to read the bible. I have not understood the flow of stories and their places in time. The usual Sunday school fare are stories taken out of context and asked to stand on their own which leaves out understanding of the cause and effect throughout history and of the layer upon layer of care, provision, and redemption God has offered us from day one.
The conversation in our group has been interesting and deep and many questions have been asked and some answers have been uncovered. It is so exciting for me to lead people though discovery of of His love and adoration for us. It's a totally new way of leading for me, and it is totally based on the way God and Jesus both teach. They ask questions so that you have to think and as a result you own and can claim the answer. There is power in that like no other. Power enough to change your life. They have all gone away from the discussion asking more questions than we had time to discuss, and that has lead them to do some digging on their own. We have talked about the big questions, the ones that seemingly have no answers. Like, why did God put us here with Satan on the prowl? And why did He tempt us with the tree of the knowledge of good and evil? And why didn't Adam and Eve trust God and not eat the fruit? I have gone though this story before and heard some of the smartest teachers I know leave those questions unanswered. So I was shocked for my little group to put together something of an answer, and a satisfactory one at that.
We were discussing why they, meaning Cain, Adam, and Eve, didn't trust Him and applying that to our own lives. The comment then was the fact that Adam and Even had no reason not to trust God. Their lives had been perfect and in perfect union with their Creator. They had known no abuse or pain or doubt and still they didn't heed His warning. We all shared some of our areas that have caused us pain and that keep us from trusting God. Areas like not being modeled trust or being betrayed and finding it hard to trust again. But in the garden these things were not present. We have reasons not to trust, they had none. And still they didn't. Usually that is as far as that discussion gets. It's sometimes interesting, but a waste of time to speculate too much. But in that moment for me God began to draw connecting lines that explained more.
From even just the first little bit of the bible, the creation, the disruption, and Cain and Abel, we see that God is a relational God. That is one of things that is always discussed during these stories. He walks with Adam and Eve. He desires their company and comes looking for them in the cool of the day. He has a heartfelt conversation with Cain about his offering. So, if the angels were only created to praise and we were created in His image, He must have been desiring a more balanced connection, and that is reflected in His interactions with us.
At first He sets us up in the prefect environment. Everything provided and His attention included. But there is the deal of the tree... Why would He even tempt us to chose wrongly and ruin everything? My new thought was what if the garden was not the perfect scenario? What if it was just the perfect beginning, and knowing that if He gave us free will the pain of us choosing wrongly would be devastating, but having the option to chose and choosing rightly would bring even greater joy and satisfaction than even the pain of death could destroy.
God created us as His image bearers and in that we were given the power to choose. It seems that they chose wrong when they ate the fruit because it brought about so much pain and suffering to come. But what if the garden was not ideal for a relationship with God? It was beautiful and everything needed was there, but there was no need for choice. There was nothing that compelled us to chose Him. Nothing that caused us to desire and pursue a relationship with Him. That would never have been His reason for creating us. To live this perfect, clean, easy life with all of the power of free will just sitting idle. What if what we have now is the perfect set up? The garden of Eden was a womb experience and never intended to last forever, and this grand adventure of struggle and toil and victory and defeat was waiting to be lived once we were moved outside the protection of the Father in the garden.
His desire to have a real and chosen relationship from us is His driving motivation or else why would He have given us the power to love and understand and discuss beyond the capabilities of the animals and even the angels? Because being chosen is the reward for giving us the option to choose. This means that we are not suffering terrible consequences from our broken moment in the garden. We are living out the God intended purpose of glory in relationship with Him and it is only our inability to see that that keeps us from enjoying fully a healing and restorative relationship with our Creator and Father.
I don't know about you but having this new thought makes the light in my room seem brighter and the fears of my day unsubstantial. And it makes smile because I know He told this to me so that would happen. So my joy would be increased. And I know He is pleased by my desire to know Him and by my choice to love Him. This is the perfect scenario.

I am so tired! I feel like I have been going nonstop for weeks. I guess I have gotten used to having a lot of down time. I think I like it that way better and am pretty sure I am willing to give up the extra perks that I could afford if I gave it up.
I found out that my dear friend and accountability partner is having another baby. That is exciting. She and her husband already have the cutest baby boy. It's nice of them to keep adding beauty to the world.
My sweet Amy is keeping her lovely foster daughter for a few more months, and that is good news. We talked for a while the other day about how broken the system is and the ways we would like to change it. It seems to be more geared toward protecting the parents rights than the rights of child. I told her about my wanting to have a huge house where I adopt all of the kids between the ages of 13 and 18 and give them a family and find people to pay for them to got to college. Or maybe after I finish a book, I will pay for it. :)
We spent time in California with our family there. It was 100 degrees. Not my favorite. We don't see them very often so it was good to catch up. It seems that at a certain point in life situations don't change much. A job change here. A new husband there...
I have been working on the stuff my friends will use to teach at the Czech camp this year. I am not going, but still wanted to be as involved as possible. It's my first time doing work and not going. Not my favorite either. I love those people and hope I get to see them at some point this year. I just needed to be here and intentional with this summer.
My Stella Grace is growing like a weed. Or more like a flower really, she is so pretty. She is funny and smart and so easy to get along with. I am impressed with her every day. I was thinking the other day about how much she has changed and grown and that it would have been so sad to miss seeing it. To have been here for only small parts, and to be shocked at how much she had changed each time I saw her, would never have been ok with me. I am so blessed to know her the way I do. And so blessed that my sister is willing to share her with me.
Jen is a full time artist now. She has us booked through the fall shooting weddings. I am being her second shooter, another reason for no Czech trip this year. I really want to help her get this thing off of the ground, and besides it is so fun working with her, and the money ain't bad either. :)
I am teaching a small group once a week here at the house. It is the best thing I know how to do and the one thing that makes me fully alive. Last week we not only got to have really great discussion about the bible, but we got to spend over an hour praying Frontline hot seat style. It was so powerful it made me realize that I have to learn how to prepare for that kind of thing better and how to recharge after.
I spent the 4th at my friend's house eating steak and corn on the cob. Then I watched the big fireworks show from my bathroom window. I giggled thinking how those things must look from heaven. I felt grateful for this amazing place we call home and the history of how it got to be here. When the show was over I could hear the several thousand people cheering from down the hill. I thought you gotta love that God. We are so creative and happy right now. It was beautiful.
I have not been writing my stuff for a few weeks being busy with travel and Czech stuff. I really miss it. I'm almost done with a children's story so I think I'll try and finish that this week. I was thinking about C.S. Lewis and how most people only read his fantasy stuff. His Christian teachings are some of the most wonderful things ever written on the subject. In my opinion. Makes me wonder.
I am reading several books given to me by my pastor. They are interesting and such a blessing. So many people are sewing into my life right now. It's impossible to believe. I am feeling more free and enjoying the day to day journey like I never have before. That my friends... is what is at the end of the rainbow.
Love you all.
j-