tomorrow is the day!

OK finally relief! i am back to being excited.

i got sad yesterday at church looking around at all i would miss.

jenny and paul

joy and jeremy

amber and nate

lindsey and derek

josh and nancy

nancy and vince

sam and jerrod

hannah and eric

eric and christy

cetta and jim

lacey

cody

then i think of others...

amy

dani

tara and adam

melissa and david

corey and brandon

charlie and dee dee

sean, tyler, kathrine, carrie, amy l., jeff, alice, amber, angela, ashley, brandt.

i realize some people have lots of acquaintances, some big families, and others have no one.

God has provided me the structural foundation on which to build mountains.

you all are the the pillars that give it shape.

i wonder where the mountain is?

when i consider all of you, i hope it's home.

because of all of you, i could do it anywhere.

thank you.

today there is ash in the air

at church today the old image of being gold and God using fire to purify us was used. i know this well. my skin has been charred so many times i thought the smell of burned hair would be in my nose forever.

today... i smell the burning of the flesh of others.

it's so hard to watch someone struggle with making the decision to choose God. there is no way to explain what happens or what to expect. all of the assurances in the world that things will get better are not enough.

i know that my life speaks to the fact that it will get better. i know people can see how far i have come on this journey. i feel sure that He uses me to illustrate His love to others daily. (even when i fail)

the struggle has a feeling - anxiety

the struggle has a smell - ash

the struggle has a purpose - to keep you where you are

I hope this works

I wanted to create this so you could follow me as I follow Him.

I have never been the person that I am today. I have never been free from my past. I have never been in the moment. I have never been ok in my skin. Thanks to the Holy Spirit, my Optimist Prime, and the people that surround me...

I am now.

On Tuesday I leave for Tacoma, Washington to celebrate love and life and Stella (my niece). When God said I could quit my job that I hated I knew there was a new season afoot. I felt peace about going to Wa. and decided to go for a while. Two months actually.

Since making that decision this trip went from being about rest, and reward for work well done, to being the catalyst for moving my life everywhere from Tacoma to London. In the past few days God has re-centered my focus and given me several trustworthy people to encourage and confirm my first thoughts.

So... according to Jesus and Josh and Derek and Lindsey, and Amber and Joy and Jeremy, I am to go and decide what I like. Discover what my heart's desire is. To rest and finally BE the person I have been working on.

I'm game.